I know it has been a little while since I have been able to actually write a post! I was thinking today was a great day to start! ” Today is a good day, for a good day!” Yes, on this rainy, yucky, gloomy Wednesday day in Atlanta- it is going to be a good day for me!!
Yesterday was World Preemie Day! I knew it all year what day it was! The Grainger family gives all year in donations and time to the March of Dimes! I also know I post all year long, if you are friends with me on facebook- you know we had preemies. Actually 3 of our 4 kiddos were preemies. Hayden was born at 37 weeks, my twins, Lexi and Kylie were born at 31 weeks! ( We have a family team called 31 weeks!) I pledged my purple this year for the March of Dimes Preemie Campaign! I always post about it too! ( yesterday was the first year I was not able to.)
Yesterday.. well.. it was a crazy day! I have had crazier, but in the back of my mind, I felt guilty for not getting my post up. ( why did I have to feel guilty about social media?) Bringing awareness is so important to me about preemies, and fighting to give every baby a healthy start! I know all my family and friends could care less that I did not post yesterday! I know I overload them with reminders all year!! I still felt guilty on my end for not getting that up! I feel guilty for not being able to keep up with Moxie Momma’s blog posts! WHY do moms feel guilty trying to do it all?? Working on that!
Social media is a way of life- I have a love/hate relationship with it! I have a business! Text book ( now e-books) says I need to keep up with my posts, promote my business through social media! I get it! I actually provide this service to my clients- it really is important and it is pretty much free marketing! Even awareness posts, if no one likes your post- it may have flown by you in your news feeds, and it also helps your SEO, – but have you been guilty of going back to find something you saw to tell your friends or to try and find it for yourself? It is very important if you have a business to be in the game! Even if you think your post are not being seen or if no one cares! They will notice if you are not there, trust me!
With all of that being said, my personal facebook page I have a different purpose! We have a ton of family and friends all over the country- as you all do as well! I used to send e-mails with pictures and updates to some of these people all the time! I always loved sending mail and cards! I love sending them actual mail, or e-mail updates before social media- so when facebook was available- my post would actually be my email updates! So much easier! So that explains why my facebook is mostly my family, kids, business shout outs sometimes and causes that matter to us! I have been told (a lot, oh and turned down for a job from a client because someone said that they can’t trust someone who makes their life look perfect on social media? What? I would think you would want that person working on your marketing if I can make you believe my life looks perfect?) “oh your life looks perfect, or at least on facebook- or every picture is too perfect.” “I hate when people pretend that their life is perfect through facebook.” etc, etc.”Life is not that way!”
UMM.. yea of course it is not. I don’t mean to make it look like that- but I am a positive person! I also am a designer, I love taking pictures, I just happen to have cute kids ( yes, I can brag- that is my job as a mom!) so yes, I can pull together a picture that looks cute…. I really don’t chime in on political issues, there are major things happening all around our world. I pray and educate my children on these world problems, but don’t have to post about them all! ( again, I don’t judge those who do- I just don’t have energy to get all my thoughts out). It is not that I care ALL the time about what people think ( I do sometimes, because I just care about my family and friends and I would love to make everyone happy.. but I really don’t.. I mean- ask my neighbors. I am in my P.J.s walking the dog all the time) If you truly know ME, you get all of this anyways. Maybe that is why I do care about when people( friends and family) think I make it look like I have a perfect life on facebook? I just wanted to say.. I don’t try to on purpose. There is no one on facebook that I have to impress. You can ask my close family and friends… before pinterst and facebook- I made my pictures look cute and I had “pinterest parties” before pinterest was born. I am a creative person, Lots of things I can’t do, I can’t do math, save lives or teach- but I can make something look cute- so don’t hate! haha!
Here is my point of this whole post….. We have bad days, my kids are not perfect, they are amazing kids, well behaved for the most part, they love life right now! I try to make life special for them and create memories for them! But guess what… I don’t need to share with my facebook family every single time my kids drive me nuts and why. They do, all the time. Being a mom is hard work. Right? I know sometimes moms like to hear what other moms are going through and they are not alone! I agree- I do that in other places of my life!! I just personally do not like jamming my facebook posts with every play by play of our lives! Is this why my facebook looks like we have a perfect life? I don’t know what the definition of “perfect” is to people ( I also do NOT mind at all hearing about your crazy kids!!, I love it, I love all the pictures, all the crazy days and all the updates! I love knowing who to pray for, I love keeping up!) Not judging you on your post or how much information you share! Your facebook page could be your blog! But, just don’t tell me that I am trying to make my life look perfect through social media just because I choose not to share our whole life with you or I know how to make a picture look cute! ( I guess I am being guilty of caring what people are thinking or saying by writing this), but there are so many post and articles out there about “perfect facebook lives” so I thought I would share from another view, of someone who is being said to have this perfect facebook life.
So here is a post that I would not normally share, but I want to:
So again, back to yesterday..why I could not make my social media post!!:)
I have asthma. ( and TMJ nerve pain) Yesterday my asthma flared up. I usually can control it. I could not, I could not catch my breath. I still kept trying on my own, with my routine medicine that I have. I was up at 1:30 am yesterday and did not go back to bed. I literally coughed the entire night. My throat is raw. Threw up a few times in the meantime. Sat in the cold air, steam, repeat. Just like you would with your kid who has croupe! My alarm went off, as if I needed one. Time to get ready for school! Ronnie ( my hubby) got up early and sat with me outside and helped get all kiddos off to school! ( again, I do not post too much mushy stuff on fb, but I am a lucky girl- he is a great hubby and daddy!! He had to go to the derm and have a spot taken off his belly and forehead and has stitches- so he is dealing with that too while dealing with us!) Kids are off to school! Ronnie is off to work, but only to grab his computer so he can come back to be with me to make sure so I don’t pass out or die- see he is thoughtful! haha)
Now Hayden the night before was complaining about sharp pains in his lower right side- as a mom, you know the first thought! I don’t even have to say it. So, I get a call from his nurse less than an hour after he is in school) Again, sharp pains. Talked with school nurse, she had said she has seen a few cases this year- kids with that pain would end up in surgery the next day to remove appendix without any of the usual symptoms. So in my mind- as a mom, I prepare my self for the worst- so if something does happen, I am mentally prepared of what would need to happen ( how do I pick up my other kids from school if I am rushing Hayden to hospital) Which hospital, I really would want him at CHOA! Now, again- he is not on the ground screaming, but he needs to be watched for this. I just had to go through all of that in my head. I know other moms have done the same, right?
So while I am thinking of my plans “in case that happens” You know creating problems that won’t even happen! Mommy Stress- I realized, I can’t breath. I literally could not catch my breath. Ronnie picks up Hayden from school on his way home to me. He looks at me and knows we need to go to hospital or to get me help! So I agreed, yes- need to go to the doctor now! I know what I need- I know doctors hate self-diagnosing patients- but I just know my body.Give me a shot in my tail asap!
I hate being sick. I hate taking medicine. I personally see sickness( in me) as a weakness. I am the mom, I have to take care of everyone else. I do whine ( to just Ronnie mostly! haha) I don’t post every time I am sick, but I do get sick a lot with asthma and TMJ- and I do not live each day all hunk a dory! I just don’t feel the need to post about it all the time! Trust me, if we need prayers- I will post! I have the most amazing prayer warriors as part of my facebook family!!
Sometimes in “live life”, not social media life, I can’t hide when I am pain with my mouth( right now they say TMJ with extra problems, but still trying to get his diagnosed correctly.) Shooting nerve pain that is worse then labor contractions without medicine) Brings me to tears and to the floor sometimes with pain, it has been happening for almost 2 years now. Have seen many doctors, have had sinus surgery, thinking it was that! ( again, another post maybe) but the only reason I have to tell people about my mouth pain, is because it happens in mid sentence as I would be talking to you. Sharp, electric pains- so my eyes tear up or you wonder why I am not answering you, I have to wait for the pain to pass) All my close friends and family know. I don’t want them to feel bad for me, I just have to explain!
So when I am sick, I usually suck it up and try to get better on my own. I truly believe it is your mind that helps in healing! ( now major illness, etc. I am not talking about these brave souls, that have the big things going on) but if you have a cold- suck it up! haha! I have been in the ICU with my laptop, keeping up with work after an asthma attack. Not telling any of my clients that I was having asthma issues. They don’t need to know. ( unless they are close clients) ( I always think of the friends episode with this one!) Is this a healthy approach- NO! I realize, but I am just saying this is my weakness, I need to take better care of me first in order to take care of my village! I know this, I tell other this all the time, I just don’t practice what I preach! Fully self aware- I am just stubborn!! Working on this!
My dad worked for an airline, so we flew a ton when I was little. I would always hear them say ” place the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on the small child.” I would always ask my mom why that did not seem right- why would you not want to save the children? haha! I did understand eventually.. but even more so these days as a mom!!! The second I realized I couldn’t breathe- how was I going to be there for Hayden if he did have to have surgery today? I thought I was sucking it up, but really I needed to take care of myself.
So got in fast to see the doctor, my oxygen level was low 80′s, chest x-rays, ( asthma + bronchitis is not a good mix) my usual- steroid shot in the tail, lots more steroids, zpacks, cough medicine, pearls, neubulizer treatments, ( yes I still use a panda bear nebulizer, since I seem to be the only one who has not outgrown my asthma!) Hayden and Ronnie waited for me. I kept thinking if anything were to happen to Hayden, at least we had a doctor close! But then I thought, it is not where I would want him to have surgery lol- why moms think so much?!! AHHH!
So this morning! I can BREATHE better at least! Hayden feels better. He is still on watch. If it gets more frequent or if he describes it as piercing pain- we will of course take him in! But when he still is able to run around and annoy his siblings- he is gong to school today!
So again, life is not perfect. This morning I woke up and my ribs hurting so bad from coughing hardcore for hours yesterday and I was still wheezing when I woke up. But in the meantime, Huddy throws up- Kylie leaves the door open as she is waiting for me to throw her jacket down- bus is in our driveway waiting and then the dog runs out of the house. So I have to run down stairs, out down our steep driveway ( can I mention , no bra on- so holding my shirt, so I don’t give the cars behind the bus a show) to grab that dog that almost hopped on the bus with Lexi. Now again in full wheeze and shooting pain from the wind and the motion of running on my mouth!
Sat with my panda bear again and had my coffee. It really would have made a good post!
But all is good!! Today is going to be a good day! Huddy is home with me! ( doing his normal 4 yo whining. He is feeling fine now! I am patient, I know these days go by quick so I just hug him and smile and yell at him at the same time to quit this whining! I am annoyed, it is annoying haha!)
And now time to dive into work mode! ( oh did I mention I am working on a broken mac book pro?) See my life is far from perfect! So no, I did not get my post up about my important cause that matters a lot to me- I do that year round! It will be okay!
I did not want to post on FB all of this, because it is a long read- but I will share this blog post on facebook- I wanted to remind all the moms out there.. You do need to take care of yourself first-spiritually, mentally and physically so you can continue being a moxie momma! Moxie is defined as to have energy, pep, courage, determination, know-how! We as moms, don’t know everything- but being a moxie momma is not an easy job! We can do this- place that mask on yourself FIRST!! And don’t hate on the moms that enjoy making things look cute! haha!
Oh and guess what- this post will not be perfect! I can’t spell and I am not perfect at grammar!